Thoughts . . . even though I haven’t read the book. Or seen the movie. 🙂
Where the Crawdads Sing lay in wait only momentarily for Reese Witherspoon to pick it up and read the now-famous story within its covers. In fact, it was actually only one month after publishing that Witherspoon read and praised the novel. Fast-forward to the present: the movie adaptation made over $17,000,000 on opening weekend. Twelve days later the box office total surpassed $38,000,000, with a global count of $42,000,000. Considering Top Gun: Maverick made $52,000,000 on its first release day, Where the Crawdads Sing seems like a drop in the bucket; however, the critical acclaim and gushing praises would say otherwise. Women are flocking to the theater and imbibing the book in a way we haven’t seen since 50 Shades of Grey was released.
I’ve left this story alone, really for only one reason. When women’s literature explodes with such passion and excitement over a story as it has with Where the Crawdads Sing, often it means that there will be heated sexual scenes and encounters throughout the book on top of other less than stellar plot points. “Book porn” is a term for a reason, thus I tend to steer clear of women’s fiction.
With the release of the movie, and the re-excitement of the masses who read this book, I decided to do some investigation. I still do not feel inclined to read the book; however, canvasing Wikipedia for a plot summary, and Plugged In for a review of both movie and book told me everything I needed to know.
Why are we allowing ourselves to be taken in by worldly thinking?
This is for women who are Believers. I cannot hold a woman who is not a Christian to these standards, but I plead with my fellow sisters in Christ to continue reading! Those of you who aren’t professing Christians, you may well find a challenge in what I have to say as well so I would also encourage you to continue reading. A brief note of caution: I am touching on some sensitive topics including sex, arousal, and purity. This blog post may not be suitable for all readers.
Emotional purity is just as important as physical purity for both single and married women. God created us for attachment, for nurturing, to be a helpmeet and a companion. He also created our bodies to fit perfectly with the body of a man. That man is to be one who loves and cares for us as God cares for His church. The roles of the husband and wife are sacred, intimate, and covenantal in nature. To watch the relational intimacy of a couple on a movie screen or to read of them on the written page is an opportunity for great encouragement and conviction in our own lives; however, it is also an opportunity for stumbling that can lead to grave sin when it branches over into the sexual side of a couple’s intimacy. A woman’s heart can be touched through her emotions (we all know this to be true, ladies) which is often what draws her (us!) into romantic movies or books, chick-flicks, and the like.
We were made for attachment to one man alone, and for those of us who are single that means we are to be guarding our hearts and bodies for the present time while we wait for the Lord to bring us to that man. For those of you who are married that means you are faithful to the man you married for better or for worse; for romantic, mundane, or miserable days; for beautiful intimacy or tired leftovers after a long day. These are the moments when we are told to be careful of our physical purity: for the married woman frustrated with her husband, she is to have sex and intimacy with him alone; for the woman who is single she is to maintain her virginity and physical purity until the day she is married. But what about emotional and mental purity?
Because of how women become attached through emotion, what we read, listen to, or watch can become a snare for us in our fight for purity. For instance, 50 Shades of Grey was a series of books and movies whose entire plot was centered on and driven by sex. So maybe you decided not to watch the movie. Obviously, it’s not wise, godly, or permissible for a Believer to spend hours of their time watching other people have sex. But what about the book? That can’t be quite as bad, at least you aren’t watching it. But you might as well be. Perhaps you don’t have a screen in your head that plays out the book you are reading so that you almost physically see what’s happening in the story, but I do. Even if you don’t have a mental TV, your emotions are drawn into play when you read of the intimate happenings between a couple.
Erotic novels (and movies), whether the authors expressly say so or not, are meant to arouse us. Women (and men) should steer clear of physical arousal because saying no to arousal is much more difficult than saying no to watching a certain movie, though that as well can feel like a very hard decision to make at times. However, are we as careful about emotional arousal? Emotional arousal can occur in either books or movies which means we must guard ourselves and be careful of what we take in because emotional arousal will eventually if not immediately lead to physical arousal.
Emotional arousal happens, specifically for women, when we see and admire the character of another man (be he real or fictional) or simply when we are attracted to him physically. If we see a man who is kind and compassionate, who is gentle and loving, who seems like a nice person, we will be attracted to him emotionally because he probably makes us feel good. When someone who is attractive to us pays attention to us or does something nice (even if kindness is not necessarily a pattern of behavior for them) we can sometimes stumble into emotional territory and begin to think we’re falling in love with this person, even though it is probably the physical attraction that is causing these thoughts and desires.
Women, if we are aroused by either reading or watching the story of two characters fall in love and have intimate moments together, why would we allow ourselves to watch a movie like Where the Crawdads Sing?
There are at least two sex scenes in the book and the movie. One is abusive and one is not. One has the potential to lead to a life together between the two and one leads to manipulation and murder. However it happens, wherever it happens, whoever it happens with, sex has lasting impact – but so do the emotions that go with it. Can you really watch the examples of both abusive and perfect sex (never mind that they are both outside the confines of marriage!) and not be affected emotionally and physically?
To watch sex between two people is evil. To watch abusive sex is just further depraved.
After seeing abusive sex (I’m speaking as one who hasn’t, but I’m trying to think logically here) would it not be tempting to start seeing sex as sort of bad? Would it not also be possible that we would see our spouse as one who might be abusive at times if they want sex when we don’t? The Bible deals with this problem when Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 that we are not to deprive one another except when we are taking time to pray (which should be a specific amount of time after which the husband and wife should come together sexually again.) Why are we not to deprive each other? So that we may not be tempted. When sex is not kept within the confines of marriage, or when it is not performed together at all, temptation comes in and disaster follows closely behind.
But what about when we see “good” sex happening on the screen? First of all, what’s our definition of good? If it’s passion and candlelit rooms and rose petals on the floor we have a problem. Sex should not be defined by man. Sex, when done correctly i.e., within marriage between one man and one woman bonded in holy covenant, is a good thing because its Creator, God our Father, is good. Would we want our neighbors watching through the window when we have sex with our spouse? May it never be! Would we ourselves walk up to our neighbor’s window and watch as they have sex with their spouse? Of course not! It is unthinkable. And yet, what else are we doing when we settle down and watch our favorite actors and actresses come together sexually on the big screen?
This can do irreparable damage to the mind of a woman (as well as a man) because of the emotions that are tied to sex. When we see sex happening in the way Hollywood depicts it (always beautiful, always completely fulfilling), we will begin to judge our spouse by that standard. What if your husband rushed things last night and he didn’t say all the lovely little things the actor said to the woman he was sleeping with in the movie you just watched? What about the drawn-out scene in a book that is erotic and satisfying in a way that your husband isn’t? Bitterness can take root, unrealistic expectations can be built up, and your marriage will start to crumble if you are not careful. This is also true for us single ladies. I have to be very careful these days that my ideas and notions about sex are not founded upon what I have learned from the world. Sex is not going to be perfect, it is not going to be completely fulfilling for me every single time, and there is also a possibility I will never get to have sex! The world would be shocked and sorry for me, but I can’t dwell on what the world says.
We have to say “No!” to the ways and wiles of the world, that includes putting down books and movies like Where the Crawdads Sing.
If you can’t find a book to read that is better and has fewer content issues than Where the Crawdads Sing, then you aren’t trying very hard to seek out godly, classic, soul-feeding, enriching books. There are so many better books and movies out there, why would we waste our time with something like this that drags our minds and hearts through the mud?
My dear readers, please consider the eternal effects of what you let your eyes watch and read. There is very little neutral ground in the world of entertainment. We must be as wise as serpents and gentle as doves. Let us be gracious with the world around us but let us be firm in our resolve to love the Lord through our book and movie choices.
Enjoy the rest of your Thursday and go read a good book! 🙂
